Self-Image Psychology
Self-Image Psychology - Sh. Yassir Fazaga
Al-Ma'idah (The Table Spread) 5:21
يَا قَوْمِ ادْخُلُوا الأَرْضَ المُقَدَّسَةَ الَّتِي كَتَبَ اللّهُ لَكُمْ وَلاَ تَرْتَدُّوا عَلَى أَدْبَارِكُمْ فَتَنقَلِبُوا خَاسِرِينَ
O my people! Enter the holy land which God has promised you; but do not turn back [on your faith], for then you will be lost!"
Ya qawmi odkhuloo alarda almuqaddasata allatee kataba Allahu lakum wala tartaddoo AAala adbarikum fatanqaliboo khasireena
Al-Ma'idah (The Table Spread) 5:22
قَالُوا يَا مُوسَى إِنَّ فِيهَا قَوْمًا جَبَّارِينَ وَإِنَّا لَن نَّدْخُلَهَا حَتَّىَ يَخْرُجُواْ مِنْهَا فَإِن يَخْرُجُواْ مِنْهَا فَإِنَّا دَاخِلُونَ
They answered: "O Moses! Behold, ferocious people -dwell in that land, [33] and we will surely not enter it unless they depart therefrom; but if they depart therefrom, then, behold, we will enter it."
Qaloo ya moosa inna feeha qawman jabbareena wainna lan nadkhulaha hatta yakhrujoo minha fain yakhrujoo minha fainna dakhiloona
Seeing self is very important. It may seem difficult but I will do it. What we see in mirror. What comes in mind; inferior, ashamed. Or pride and dignity.
I'm created to make positive contribution to mankind. How we see ourself, that's the way other people look at ourself. Media portrays black people athletes, dancing, gangsters. There is great number of blacks doctors. People are deceived. It's much easier to become doctor as compared to become an athlete. When kings conquer a place; they introduce corruption, humiliate respected people. An-Naml (The Ants) 27:34 قَالَتْ إِنَّ الْمُلُوكَ إِذَا دَخَلُوا قَرْيَةً أَفْسَدُوهَا وَجَعَلُوا أَعِزَّةَ أَهْلِهَا أَذِلَّةً وَكَذَلِكَ يَفْعَلُونَ Said she: Verily, whenever kings enter a country they corrupt it, and turn the noblest of its people into the most abject. And this is the way they [always] behave?
Qalat inna almulooka itha dakhaloo qaryatan afsadooha wajaAAaloo aAAizzata ahliha athillatan wakathalika yafAAaloona
Firaon named 73 times in Quran. Firaons crush the souls. Slaves were tested when they were bought; who was problematic, rebellious; and then trained and treated accordingly.
In Maryland, slaves were your property (chattels) under law; beat them, kill them. Unlike some of Wye’s enslaved laborers, Douglass was not sold south and instead left Wye for Baltimore after being given to another family. It was there that Douglass secretly learned to read before he was send back to work for Edward Covey back on the Eastern Shore in his teenage years.
Covey, a particularly hateful and cruel farmer was known as a “slave breaker” and whipped the teenage Douglass until he fought back. Once Douglass overcame Covey in a physical confrontation the whippings ceased.
In 1838, after 20 years of enslavement he escaped to the freedom of the north. Following his escape he sent for Anna Murray, a free-black woman from Baltimore whom he would later marry.
In 6 months Douglass was whipped, beaten continuously on daily basis; to crush his soul. He fought back and beaten Covey badly. He decided to die with pride. Hang with pride but this resulted the end of old version of slavery (1836 -1838).
Change has never been demand of the majority wants, the majority is always followers.
When there is a situation, you are with less number, look at the faith of those less people; committed minority with pride succeeds.
You have to think high about yourself to make some positive contribution.
In the start, you have nothing much to offer.
In March 1955, nine months before Rosa Parks defied segregation laws by refusing to give up her seat to a white passenger on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama, 15-year-old Claudette Colvin did exactly the same thing. Eclipsed by Parks, her act of defiance was largely ignored for many years.
Boycott started and law was changed.
Which thoughts come to our mind, not in our control. But I have full control whether or not dwell with it.
"Watch your thoughts: They become your words. Watch your words: They become your actions. Watch your actions: They become your habits. Watch your habits: They become your character. Watch your character: It becomes your destiny."
The soul that is within me, no man can degrade. Frederick Douglass
If others think about me, that I'm slave; it's not important.
What I think about myself is important.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
We cannot be ashamed of ourselves.
Don’t Let Shame Become a Self-Destructive Spiral
After a major mistake, it’s natural to feel ashamed. But shame is also a powerfully destructive feeling. Left to fester, it can have a profound effect on our psychological well-being. It’s concealed behind guilt; it lurks behind anger; it can be disguised as despair and depression. How can we learn to let it go? Generally speaking, in coping with shame, there are two maladaptive strategies: attacking the self or attacking others. Initially, hostility is directed inward (“I’m worthless,” “I’ve never been any good”). But then in an attempt to feel better, some people will lash out in defensiveness and denial. Others may try to compensate by being exceptionally nice; by pleasing others, they hope to improve their feelings of self-worth. A better approach is to discover the true source of our shame, and then practice self-compassion. Ask yourself: would I talk to a friend the way I’m talking to myself right now? Keeping your feelings of shame in perspective is essential for building resilience and living your most authentic life.
Shame is an emotion that makes you feel horrible.
Shame is the internal experience that you are, in some way, inadequate and unworthy of being accepted by another person or belonging to a particular group.
Ideally we are all created to make significant positive impact in the world, some wonderful imprint in this world.
In USA standard set for youth girl is 120 lbs and they can do anything to look good outfit.
How they set standard for others.
People are forced to go through intense medical treatment to become acceptable for the society.
There are enormous risks for breast enlargement surgery, eyes enlargement.
People come different parts of the world and then they go through plastic surgery to look attractive.
Through advertisement, they are making mind of 10 years old girls not look like innocent but sexy.
In 1950s Western women were not ready to accept Indian sarri which makes belly button visible but now it's norm.
Islam doesn't appreciates that your outer look defines you. You are there to define yourself.
In commercials, luxury cars, luxury residence; is your introduction.
No, I'm myself my introduction.
I don't need anyone to introduce me, I'm good to introduce me.
25:30 Al-Isra (The Journey by Night) 17:70 وَلَقَدْ كَرَّمْنَا بَنِي آدَمَ وَحَمَلْنَاهُمْ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ وَرَزَقْنَاهُم مِّنَ الطَّيِّبَاتِ وَفَضَّلْنَاهُمْ عَلَى كَثِيرٍ مِّمَّنْ خَلَقْنَا تَفْضِيلاً NOW, INDEED, We have conferred dignity on the children of Adam, and borne them over land and sea, and provided for them sustenance out of the good things of life, and favoured them far above most of Our creation:
Walaqad karramna banee adama wahamalnahum fee albarri waalbahri warazaqnahum mina alttayyibati wafaddalnahum AAala katheerin mimman khalaqna tafdeelan
If you mention Allah SWT in a gathering, His Almighty mentions you in a better assembly. It's a great honor.
If you mention Allah SWT in yourself, His Almighty will mention you in Himself.
[Hadith Qudsi; Allah the Almighty said: I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a cubit (1.5 feet), and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom (6 feet). And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed. Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: "I am as My servant expects Me to be". The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty].
Be cautious! If what you feel comes from other than the Creator, you will suffer. 27:20
Hakīm ibn Hizām was not Muslim. He was a visitor from Yemen. He presented a precious royal gown to Holy Prophet PBUH. He wore and it looked very great on him. But he saw very same gown on very next day on Osama bin Zaid in the market of Madina.
Osama bin Zaid was not very handsome. Hakīm asked Osama, such a nice gown. From where you got it. Osama replied, Holy Prophet PBUH gifted me.
Question is; What is source of our pride. Our relationship with the Creator and our contribution to humanity. 30:00
Domestic Violence: women suffer 12-18 years and then decide to walk out from physical abusive husbands; sometimes ribs, nose are broken.
The men say; they are permitted by Allah SWT.
Soul of these women is being crushed. They take all the blame upon them. 32:00
Followers are more reactive with their emotions, while leaders are more responsive.
Successful leaders have strong convictions and are bold in their beliefs, while followers are less committed.
Followers get out of the storm while leaders stand strong against it.
https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/10-signs-youre-a-follower-instead-of-a-leader/
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